Stressing out about your relationship?
Do you feel the connection between you and him is long gone? Don't worry, the dating and relationship
experts from Portland Singles have some helpful tips for you to break up
with him and get on with your life.
Are you ready to break up with your boyfriend? Maybe he's making you miserable, or maybe the
connection has just worn out between you both.
These things happen, and not ever relationship is meant to last. So do not feel bad about it. Remember, you only live once and you have to
do whatever it is that makes you feel happy.
It's that simple. You cannot
force feelings that are not there. With
that being said, today, the matchmakers of Portland Singles will review
the best ways to break up with him.
Break Up With Him The Graceful Way
1. You need to be nice and sensitive about it. Just because you are over the relationship
does not mean he is too. Do not yell or
use profanity. Breaking up is very
devastating for most people, so make sure that when you do it, you keep his
feelings in mind.
2. You need to do it in person, explains Portland Singles. Yes, it might be hard, but if you ever want
to remain friends, even if you don't intend of remaining friends, you need to
give him some respect. And that can be
done by breaking up with him in person.
Treat him the way you would like to be treated if you were about to be
dumped by a boyfriend you deep cared for.
3. Remember that there is no painless way to break up with him. Regardless of what you do, he will be hurt,
and the breakup will hurt you as well.
Even though you are no longer in love with him, you probably still care
for him and don't want to see him suffer any more than he has to, right?
4. You need to be prepared with everything you're going to say before
you meet him for the breakup.
5. Keep your composure, reminds Portland Singles. Although he may be inclined to say mean
things or yell, it's important that you don't behave like that too. It is often the case that when a person gets
dumped, they are so hurt that they begin to lose control of their
emotions. The first thing he might do
may be to apologize to you, then he might begin to beg you to give him a second
chance. And then, he might become angry
and mean with you and say hurtful things.
You need to realize that this is normal and it's what happens when
someone's heart is broken. You have
probably been there yourself before, right?
6. Honesty doesn't always mean it's the best route to take. If one of the reasons that you want to call
things off with him is because he's not good in bed for you (and this does
happen from time to time) then, definitely don't throw it out there at
him. You don't want to make him be
insecure for the rest of his life, right?
Yes, honesty is the best policy, but brutal honesty doesn't have to come
out during a breakup. So you need to use
your best judgment here.
How Not To Break Up With Him (Don't Do These
Things)...
1. Although you may believe one of the easiest ways to break up with
him can be done via text message (because many people have long conversations
with each other via text messages), but breaking up with each other should not
be one of them. As mentioned above, you
should only break up with him in person.
If you break up with him via a text message, you are pretty much letting
him know that he is so bad or worthless to you that he doesn't even deserve
your time. You don't have any respect
for him to do it in person, and the time the two of you spent together doesn't
mean anything to you. And you know those
things are not true at all. So make sure
he knows how much you value him and the time the two of you spent together, but
let him know it's time to go your separate ways, explains Portland Singles.
2. Never use the line, "I think we're better off as just
friends." First of all,
millions of people have used that line before.
And guess what... It's a big fat excuse.
Second of all, if he still loves you, which he probably does, then there
is no way he can be friends with you until he's fully and completely healed and
over you. To ask him to be your friend
right after you have broken off the relationship with him is completely
ridiculous. Imagine if you were head
over heels for him, deeply in love, but he told you that he just wanted to be
friends... Wouldn't you feel devastated?
3. Never tell him you want to break things off because you need time or
space, if you already know the relationship is over. All you're doing by saying this to him, is
giving him hope that the relationship can be restored, explains Portland
Singles. Be completely clear about
your intentions. This might be cold
hearted, but in the end, you're doing him a favor. He doesn't know it yet, but when he's
completely over you, he'll thank you for it.
4. Never say to him, "A part of me still loves you." Again, this goes hand in hand with the one above,
and all it's doing is giving him hope to work harder for you to fall in love
with him again.
5. If the two of you have mutual friends, which of course you do, do
not tell them that you're going to break up with him. The word will eventually travel back to him
before you even had the time to explain your feelings to him. He needs to hear it from you, not anyone
else.
What Happens After The Breakup Process? What You Should Do...
1. Never call him or go visit him.
You might feel bad after what you've done and want to be friendly, but
keep in mind that he's not ready to be friendly with you yet. Give him some time to get completely over it
and heal from it. Maybe he will call you
several months down the road, but until he's healed, give him his space.
2. You can start re-entering the dating game when you feel you're
ready. After all, you do have to make
yourself happy and never feel bad about doing it, explains Portland Singles.
3. Now that you are recently single, you will have plenty of time to
spend with friends. Use this time to
rekindle your friendships and spend time with friends you ignored while you
were in a committed relationship.
4. Last, but not least, go on with your life and stop wondering if he
will ever forgive what you've done to him.
Relationships end all the time, and this is a normal part of life. He will eventually realize that it was for
the best. And if for some reason he
doesn't realize it, then that's his problem, not yours--As long as you've given
him respect and explanation during the breakup, you've done what you needed to
do.
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